OTHER GODS ARE COCK-TEASES

Note to the ladies: The English language has a gender bias. In case you hadn’t noticed. A woman who’s sexually promiscuous is a slut, a tramp, a whore. A man who’s sexually promiscuous is just a guy. Since I’m writing in English, I’m forced to use sexually loaded terms for effect–but they’re meant as put-downs in a non-gender-specific way. Honest!

Gods want you to beg. They love to lead you on. They love to entice. They’re full of promises. Come spend your time with me. Come give me all your love and devotion. I’ll deliver for you, honey. Someday. I promise. You can have Paradise. You can have streets of gold. You can have celestial music. You can have milk and honey. (Has anyone thought what a sickening combination of flavors that is?) I’ll even give you virgins.*

*(Offer good for male believers only. Quantities limited.)

The problem is, these cock-teases never deliver. It’s always “Later.” Preferably after you’re dead, when you can’t complain or ask for your money back. Gods never put out–or if they do, it’s grudgingly, and with lots of strings attached. They make sure you know what a sacrifice they’re making for you.

Polly doesn’t want you to beg, or demean yourself for her in any way. She makes no promises. She does what she wants out of friendship, and expects you to do the same. If anything worthwhile occurs between you and her, it’s because the relationship is mutual. When a relationship works right, you both get something out of it.

Published in: on April 12, 2009 at 7:54 pm  Leave a Comment