Ever wonder why gods keep demanding that you believe in them? It’s simple–if no one believes in them, they stop existing.

Think about it. Baal doesn’t exist any more, does he? That’s ’cause no one goes around worshiping him any more. Same with Thor and Zeus. Oh sure, people tell the old myth stories, but that’s all they are…stories.Nobody actually worships them these days.A god without worshipers gets sent to a special limbo. It’s sad to think of, really, like a one-time wealthy industrialist sitting on the curb with a begging bowl, stopping people and asking for spare change. “Please believe in me. I’ve got all these hungry seraphim to feed.”

Unlike other gods, Polly knows DesCartes’ argument. She exists because she believes in herself. She doesn’t whine for other peoples’ belief. Whenever someone tries to tell you that you must believe in their god, say, “Why? Doesn’t he believe in himself?”

You know you exist, so you don’t need god. But god needs you to save him from a fate worse than death: Nonexistence.

Published in: on June 21, 2009 at 3:12 am  Comments (2)  


When we go out on a date with someone we want to impress, we usually go through various rituals to make sure our date will like us. We shower or fix our hair or brush our teeth or gargle. We want to make a good impression.

But with Jesus, you don’t have to bother. Why not? Because “Jesus loves you.” It’s on all his posters, in all his ads. No need to dress up. No need to go to church or pray or do any of that stuff. Why waste your time and energy? Jesus has no standards. He doesn’t even care if you behave yourself. You can rob a bank or murder your boss, he doesn’t care. He’s so desperate for followers, he’ll take anybody.

It’s just like it was in high school. The girls with self-respect have at least minimal expectations. Their date must look and smell presentable, and should make an effort to ensure they both have a good time.

Then there’s the sad ones with no self-respect. The guy can call them up at the last minute and expect them to be ready. He can be unwashed, ungroomed, wearing old clothes, take her to some cheap fast-food place (if he takes her anywhere at all; maybe he even expects her to pay). She’s always available, day or night. She’s at his disposal no matter what he does, because she loves him.

Polly has standards. She doesn’t condemn people for being what they are, but she doesn’t go out of her way for them. She’s willing to be friends with anyone who’ll make an effort to be friends with her–but there has to be respect on both sides. She knows that’s the only way a real relationship can work.

Published in: on March 6, 2009 at 11:07 pm  Leave a Comment  

Some Reasons Why Polly Is Better Than All Other Gods Put Together

Other gods are braggarts.

Other gods claim credit for everything in the universe–often literally. They say they created it, they control it, they own it. You? You’re nothing! Less than nothing, really. They even claim credit for creating you, even though they know your parents had something to do with it. They’ll even quarrel with other gods about who’s responsible for what. The Xian god even denies the other gods exist, claiming he’s the only one and all the others are false. Can’t stand the competition, I guess.

Polly is much more modest. She’ll admit she was there to help get things in order–but she knows the creation was a rush job, and is nothing for anyone, god or mortal, to brag about.

Other gods are bullies.

Other gods tell you to do what they say, or else. If you don’t do things exactly the way they want you to, you’ll get punished in all sorts of nasty ways. You’d think, with them being so powerful and everything, it wouldn’t matter what you do. Hell, if they’re so powerful, why do they need you to do their bidding? But they insist you have to be their slave and do everything they want.

Polly doesn’t boss people around. She has her own stuff to do. If you want to help her, that’s cool. If not–well, it’s your life.

more reasons to come. lots more….

Published in: on February 9, 2009 at 1:52 am  Leave a Comment